Archive for June 17, 2008

Finding happy

{ June 17, 2008 @ 5:07 pm } · { thoughts }
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Happiness means a range of different things to varying people. True happiness can’t be generated from a simple joke or a cheap laugh. True happiness comes from deep within the heart. For many, it means perfection. For me, it means love, trust, companionship. It means finding things to smile about even when the sky seems grey. It means having somebody to fall back on when the world seems to be against you. It means a batch of chewy choc-chip cookies. It means crying over a drama even when it’s too clichéd to be true. Happiness is finding the positives in life, not only when life is perfect, but also (and especially) when there are many things to be upset about. Happiness is as cherished and remembered as one’s first sweet love. If happiness could be frozen in time, it would be a picture of good friends together, laughing.

 

Life could be described as one of Phungie’s pictures, red heart-shaped balloons floating away in the blue sky. It’s beautiful, but ironic. With happiness, comes sorrow and tears. Or perhaps I should say; without sorrow, we could not feel happiness, or judge what it would be like. Without the tears, we cannot place the value of the single smile. Without the piercing pain in the heart when a loved one is gone, we could not feel the soaring of that same heart when your special someone just walks right through the door.

 

Life plays us for fools, but enjoy every moment, because it may never repeat itself.

I want you here

{ June 17, 2008 @ 5:06 pm } · { tribute }
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There are times when we question the meaning to our lives; do we understand its purpose, is there more than meets the eye?

That was the opening line to one of my graduation songs. It’s true, life deals us more twists and turns than we care to handle. We never know if they all have a purpose, if they define something that is not yet determined. And even though life is something that we must embrace and use wisely, it’s also something we must endure. If not for ourselves, then for others. Often I wonder how people made it so far in life without feeling something lacking. Often I see people going through the same steps every day, sticking to a routine, and I wonder how they can handle it. Sometimes I think of you, I think of pain, I think of endurance, and I wonder why you didn’t have to endure the way I must, why YOU decided to take the easy way out. I shouldn’t, really I shouldn’t, because now you’re gone and there’s nothing we can change. But sometimes I wonder how it would have been if I had gone with you that day, if my plan had worked. If I met you halfway and now we’d be together, looking down on the rest of the world and shaking our heads wisely at their mistakes. I find you brave, yet I see some cowardice in your actions. Maybe it was an accident, perhaps it was all just a game, but at least for a second you must have thought…

 

I find it strange how people can inflict their pain on others when all they were trying to do was lift their own burdens. Those who block out others because they decide it’s easier than letting other people know of their miseries. But those people who go all the way, ones who decide that life is meaningless, they are the ones I most admire, yet most despise. They, like many others, have suffered terrible ordeals. They, like many others, have thought about ending it all. However, a select few decide that they are not strong enough to cope with the stress and burdens placed upon them. They, unlike many others, have decided instead to leave, and take with them the livelihoods of their family and friends.

 

Because of you, my livelihood has been taken away. And because of you, I have nobody to turn to when the going gets tough. I had nobody at all except you, and now you’ve gone. And I just want you back.

The list

{ June 17, 2008 @ 5:03 pm } · { randomness }
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All my life I’ve received much joy from making lists of any sort. I make shopping lists, to-do lists and persuasive lists that state why somebody should come to Photo Plus with me (:

 

Now, my lists are usually private, but seeing a friend’s life to-do list prompts me to do the same. But my list defines my aims that I want to achieve before the winter is over.

 

1.       Find happiness in every day

2.       Devote myself wholly to the Lord

3.       Add to my collection of chickens

4.       Fall in love with a stranger (hmms…)

5.       Take at least four more sets of sticker photos

6.       Watch a movie with friends

7.       Undertake intense badminton training

8.       Get a hug from my hunnie ^^

9.       Make a new friend, or two

10.    Chinese school!

11.    Have random people comment positively on my blog*

12.    Learn to find myself

 

This list, upon reviewal, appears materialistic, with exception of number 1, 2 and 12. It may seem that way, but all these pointless things, such as watching a movie, or getting a hug, can really make my day. Things that don’t seem to mean anything, they are the most beautiful of them all.

 

*BY THE WAY: I’m hoping somebody can help with #11, *cough cough*

Regrets

{ June 17, 2008 @ 5:01 pm } · { randomness }
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Life; so simple, yet so devastating. It seems as if everything we try, gives us no satisfaction. In a life, no matter how old or young, there will always be regret, despair and disappointment. People will always be self-conscious; they will always be able to find a fatal flaw within themselves. Unless there is some surgery which turns us all into mutated Barbie clones – some manufactured piece of trash that excels in all fields, never loses face and is perpetually beautiful – we will always be discontented with the way we are. Regret in the way we have lived our lives comes forth only when it is not required, only when it is too late to turn back the clock and make it right again.

 

If only you could have said I love you before it was too late. If only you hadn’t misplaced that all-important notice. If only you didn’t have to sell the house. If only your favourite cousin hadn’t decided to play with a noose that fateful day…

 

Regrets can stem from anywhere, they can be about anything. They could be of little importance, or it could change your whole perspective on life. Just remember: although it’s good to sometimes think about regrets, and dream of how things could have been, it’s also important to think of the present, and how we can change to make sure life can be lived to the fullest.

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